What to Expect when your Wife is Expecting

Previous: Pushing the Envelope

Ella let Seeley walk her out, to the car, and she managed to stay okay the short trip home because…multiverse travel. But the moment they crossed the threshold she was running for the bathroom. “Gahhhhh…” She groaned.

Seeley crossed the threshold with the bag full of goodies, his arm moving to release her as she bolted for the bathroom. “I'll… Make… You… Some tea…” What started as shouting after her as she ran trailed off as he walked to the kitchen, setting a kettle to boil the water for some peppermint tea.

“Kayyyyy….” Ella moaned. Hopefully he was spared the more unsavory noises coming from the bathroom. She hated having him see her like this, despite knowing it came with the territory.

When she was done, she brushed her teeth and staggered out into the kitchen, weary eyes gazing at her husband. “Sorry…” she mumbled, bumping him lightly her hip.

He put down a large mug and dropped a peppermint tea bag into it, pouring water in once it was boiling. He looked up as he set it down, seeing Ella coming out of the bathroom.

“This isn't my first rodeo, I know what comes with the territory. Relax.” He put his arm around her waist to give her a light hug, not holding her too tight in case she needed to move quickly again.

She leaned on him, a hand resting over her still flat stomach. “Can you believe our baby is in there?” She asked quietly while she waited for the tea to steep.

“I'm relieved to be off field work for the time being. I shudder to think how close that bullet came…” she looked down at her hand, then to the 6 week ultrasound they had sitting on the counter in a little frame. A little bean in a field of black. Their baby.

He placed his hand over hers. “I saw the ultrasound, of course I can believe.”

He'd had a discussion with Andrews. There was no argument, it was policy. He was being overprotective. “You're safe, that's all that matters. No more rushing in without support.” He wrinkled his nose. “I can't always be there.”

“I did what you would have done, my love.” She said softly. “Had I known I was pregnant…I might not have. And Summer might have died.” But she understood where Seeley was coming from. She felt it every time he had to go somewhere without her. Over their marriage, they'd come to be considered each other's backup. She turned slightly and pressed a tender kiss to his neck. “I love you.”

A deep inhale of breath preceded his response. “Yes, but…” A long pause before he could continue. He was frustrated when she ran in before him. That was him, over a decade ago. That was him when he let his fire get the better of him. The Carlucci compound. Very nearly that day. “You did.” He closed his eyes, just feeling her kiss on his neck, trying to relax. “I love you too.”

Ella could feel his tension. It might not have been so bad had she not been expecting. But she hadn't known. She slowly swept her hands up, rubbing along his shoulders, his upper arms.

She didn't tell him everything turned out relatively okay in the end. She didn't remind him it was no longer a risk, she was on desk work, and she was excelling even there. He knew all this. Instead, she just tended to him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear as she rubbed, then caught his hand and laid it over her stomach.

He tried to relax. He took a long, deep breath. in through his nose. Held it for a second. Then breathed out through his mouth, lips pursed so he had to force it. Held with empty lungs for another second before cycling through another.

With her hands working on his body, he tried to focus on his mind, trying to make himself calm down. He could see everything going bad every time he closed his eyes. Even now. He was working through it. It wasn't that he was weak, he'd been through a lot, but… This was different. This wasn't about him getting hurt directly, it was indirect. Someone else. Someone he protected.

His internal paladin fought hard to protect her.

He smiled, his eyes still closed, as she placed his hand over her stomach, and he rubbed slightly in a circle.

She knew what was running through his mind. All the ways that things could have gone wrong. The same thing she did every time he was on assignment without her. “Seeley, stop. It's going to torture you. I know. I do it every time you go somewhere I can't follow. So many things could have gone wrong. From Carlucci to Shea to Flannery. Everything. I've done it. Over and over in my head. All we can do is remember we are standing here. Together. And God has blessed us.” She said softly, only relaxing when he began to smile and slightly rub her stomach. “Say hi to our baby, honey. Maybe it will help you relax.” She kissed him softly then, catching his gaze.

His eyes slowly opened as he rubbed, as she talked. Every so often his smile would twitch, but it did stay on his lips. Not quite as emphatic as usual, but it was there.

“I've been tortured. You've seen the scars. This is something else entirely.” He sighed. “This is worry.” A pause while she kissed him, then he squatted down to place his head against her belly. “Hello in there!” That made the grin broader as he stood back up. “Better?”

“I have. I don't have many…but I worry every time you are gone. It's the job, right? I'm alive. Our child is fine and I'm off active field work. No worrying about me, I'm safe now, okay?”

She smiled adoringly at him as he came back up. “Much. There's my husband.” She said softly. She took a sip of the peppermint tea and looked up at him. “Let's go relax on the couch and watch a movie.” She murmured.

He nodded. A simple action. Agreement. The worry lifting. For the moment, at least. He didn't have to worry about her working in the fortress. Just don't let anyone hear him calling it the Fortress of Solitude. Too many people for that.

“Anything in mind? Please don't say 50 Shades… Or The Secretary. Or… Any crime dramas. They always get the details wrong.”

Ella made a face. “I'm in the mood for comedy but not cringe comedy.” She laughed. “I don't care what we watch. I just want to snuggle, honestly.” She said.

Seeley laughed. “We can always chuck in 'When Harry Met Sally' as moving wallpaper while we snuggle. You're feeling better.”

She smiled at him. “Knowing your tension is easing helps, despite the churning of my stomach.” She replied tenderly. Seeley had been almost constantly tense since the Gala shooting, and it had been weighing on his wife. She hated seeing him like that.

“I just can't get the image of that guard out of my head. One more second, Ella. I had to make the call. You know how each one bugs me.” He reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He took her by the hand and led her towards the couch. “It's fading, getting there.”

Her smile faded. The guard. The one variable she hadn't seen. She'd thought him down after she shot him. The defenses she'd put around that particular moment came crashing down and tears slipped down her cheeks as her conscious flooded with guilt. She was responsible for Seeley having to take a life. Again. She practically collapsed onto the couch, her head bowed as her shoulders shook. “I'm sorry, Seeley…” She whispered shakily.

“Hey.” He dropped to his knees at her feet. “Hey.” Took both her hands in his. “*Hey*.” Squeezed. “Gabriella.” Her given name, not the one arranged for her.

“My choice. A choice I would make in a heartbeat every time. I learn to live with it.” He leaned up on his knees, bringing his face up close to hers. “It will fade. You won't. We won't.” He lifted one hand to rub her belly. “Right here, this proves it.”

“A choice you shouldn't have had to make.” She said softly through her tears. It had, in that space she had shoved it into, been weighing heavily on her. But she had made herself be strong, for Seeley. She knew he didn't like taking lives and she'd felt awful knowing she had forced his hand.

Her eyes met his as he laid his hand on her stomach. “I've…been trying so hard to be resilient. But…I had to start talking to Neill again. I shouldn't have pursued, despite everyone telling me I did the right thing.” She said quietly.

“Gabi. There are good guys, there are bad guys. We need to take sides. The death of a bad guy, so a good guy can live? That's what keeps me going.” He sat up further and cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing the tears from her cheeks.

“You saved a good guy. Woman. Today. Hold on to that thought.” He didn't specify his own point of view on the day, figuring she'd pick that up for herself. “You did the right thing.”

She nodded, slipped her arms around him and pulled him to the couch with her. She slipped into his lap and nestled in close, her head on his shoulders, her head tucked into his neck. The two weeks since the shooting had been hard and she'd done her best to put on a smile and forge on.

It had been hard, but being strong for Seeley had kept her going. That, and their baby, despite the little bean making her sick beyond belief. “I will if you will.” She said softly pressing a kiss to his lips as she reached and handed him the remote.

Seeley turned his head to lean in to the kiss fully, his eyes glancing towards the remote as she handed it to him, wrapping his fingers around it instinctively. His free hand rose to place behind her head, holding her in place during the kiss, then stroking once they parted.

He poked and prodded the buttons, making a mistake here and there, but eventually getting the movie going. He turned down the sound a little, so they could talk, but loud enough they could hear. He stroked with his hand against her hair, wrapping his free arm around her to hold her close. “I do.”

Ella flailed slightly, whimpering at the kiss as her husband stole her breath. Her fingers slid into his short hair, smiling like a goofball when he pulled away. She curled into him, her arms around his torso.

Her head came to rest on his chest and she smiled as he spoke those two words. It brought back memories of their wedding at the courthouse. “Best day of my life so far.” She murmured softly.

He set the remote on the arm of the couch and wrapped his arm around her. “We'll just have to make more best days.” His quirky grin and smouldering gaze was in full force with that memory.