====== Heart of Darkness ====== Previous: [[trust_issues|Trust Issues]] Why? Ask [[profiles:kainehayden|Kaine]] that question and he couldn't give you an answer. He was used to being the one taking, claiming, owning. And here was the she wolf who had claimed his lap. Nor did he argue. She stepped up when he didn't with the restaurant. That pushed his buttons. Nobody pushed his buttons. Not the way she did. Maybe in time he'd be able to explain what he saw in her, why he'd let her into his cold heart. Now? She made him happy. Nobody made him happy. He had to find out what else she could do for him. [[profiles:summercaldwell|Summer Rose Caldwell]] led a carefully sculpted life. Not a dishonest one, but the woman presented to the public was the ambitious, driven woman who had made herself. In her downtime, she was a philanthropist, a charitable woman who did what she could to enable others to pull themselves up by their bootstraps with a little help from the woman's various charities. She took his hand and led him to the door. The stonework was beautiful, masterfully done. It wasn't a penthouse with 8 bedrooms but it was her home. Shaking fingers fumbled with the key as she unlocked the door and stepped inside. The weight was the first thing that hit her. It was almost tangible, the sense of…an abyss. The mirror in the foyer was covered….there were little post-it notes everywhere with little notes all over them. //Someone out there loves you when you don't love you. Your hair looks so pretty. Did you remember to eat? One breath at a time. Breathe. Breathe. Eat dinner. Do some yoga.// Little reminders most people didn't need. It was…dark? No, the lights were on but it was like Summer physically left the depression in her house whenever she left. She had to. She had people to take care of. The only person who took care of Summer Rose Caldwell was Summer herself. Things were put out carefully, placed with purpose to ease access. To make it a little easier to live life when living life was the hardest thing she'd ever done. "Welcome to my house." House. In the winter, this was house, not home. Her voice wavered almost imperceptibly. His hand intertwined with hers. This… Was new. It wasn't the feeling of being a gentleman, helping a lady into a car, greeting a lady, any of that. It was warm, friendly, affectionate. Her house was beautiful on the outside. Much like her. The inside was a contrast. Much like her. Her private face with him was very different from her public face at work. This was just an extension of what he'd seen. Little glimpses into her private world. The mirror being covered as if she didn't want to see herself, but it wasn't a blanket. He caught a glimpse of the contents of a few of the notes, and he wanted to pore through every single one of them, seeing if he could find anything to use to help her when he was able. He knew she would help him. "A Summer Rose needs light to flourish." His voice was back as he could see from the surroundings how much she struggled to live. He could hear her struggle in her voice. "Needs nurturing. Someone who will look after it." She squeezed his hand as she led him to her bedroom. "Don't come in, please." She said softly. She'd been right, the house wasn't messy or filthy, but it was easy to see why, despite being a lovely house, she didn't want anyone in it in the winter. Her room…there was a circle of clothing on the floor, as though someone had sat in the middle and cried inconsolably. Unmade bed. Fingerprints on the vanity mirror. A closet in disarray, yet the suits she wore hung pressed and neat. She gathered up the things she needed for an overnight stay. Comfortable pajamas. toiletries. It seemed like she was…wilting….the longer she stayed in the house. The fracturing was so complete that she was able to completely dissociate from the depression and literally leave it in her house….where it saturated //everything//. "I'll be here when you're done." He stood outside her bedroom, looking around. His eyes took in everything as he did, bringing himself into her personal space. There must be something wrong in the bedroom he didn't want him to see if she didn't want him in there. She would explain when she was ready, she'd already invited him in when she said to give her time to prepare, so she was already one step ahead now than she was earlier. He called out, "if there's anything you forget, I probably have spares, or I can send Giles out for it." He could tell she felt pressure in this space. He couldn't quite place his finger on it. Emotions were new to him. Something made him feel like the house was oppressive, something she fought against. It was his way of trying to help. He turned his back to a free space on the wall and leaned against it, arms crossed, waiting. He was still smiling. Because of her. She was about to grab her hairbrush when it began to get to be too much. The photo of her parents, her seven siblings in front of a tiny house in Southend-on-Sea…the dirty faces, Summer stood out, the only redhead other than her mother. "Kaine?" She called in a small voice. "Um…you're going to think this is weird. I…need you…to um…" She gripped the back of the chair in front of the vanity. "I just need help leaving." She said, her voice faltering. No wonder the woman often slept in her office. Instantly when she called his name he tensed. The tone in her voice set all the alarms inside his head wailing, something was wrong. The strong woman whom he'd fallen for didn't sound quite so strong anymore. She continued and he pushed himself up from where he leaned against the wall. Then came the request for help. He turned, opening the door to her bedroom where she'd pushed it ajar to hide it from his view. He understood. It was like a crash site. Chaos in her perfectly controlled world. Clothing scattered in a circle, closet thrown open, the juxtaposition of pressed work clothes hung heavy against the background of clothes thrown in rather than stored. The bed, unslept in, unmade. Her, leaning on the back of her chair. "Breathe, Summer." He grabbed her bag, still open, in his left hand, his right reaching for her shoulder and giving her a squeeze before sliding it down her arm to her hand, pulling it off the chair and wrapping his fingers between hers. Supporting her. Physically, mentally, emotionally. He didn't know what to do, he hoped he was capable. "I'm here, let's go." She asked for help and…he came. Summer blinked. His hand on her shoulder, moving down and pushing his fingers through hers. Her eyes fixed on the picture. The house was small. Dilapidated. No wonder she fought so hard, worked so relentlessly. No wonder she had no qualms about giving her siblings the means to follow their drive, their ambition. The children were dirty…except little Summer, the oldest of the group. Already she had steel will in her eyes, already she looked off in the distance like she knew she'd leave this run-down home far behind her. Kaine knew the top. Summer was born at the bottom. She tore her eyes away and looked at him. "Thank you…I…yes, let's go. Thank you. It just…sometimes my feet get stuck…" She fumbled to try and explain as she let him lead her out. He noticed the picture for the first time, just before turning to lead her away. Tiny. Run down. A family. A big one. Jesus that's a lot of kids. He'd grown up an only child with his Aunt and Uncle and their son and daughter. His father paid his way. He'd never known that sort of struggle. He understood more about the woman who'd helped him become the man he was today. That was some admission. Even inside his head. She was changing him. Slowly, surely, bringing out the emotions from the tiny, infinitesimal ball he'd crushed them down into when his father dragged him into this world. For the second time. Ruthless. That's what he'd become. Now he was caring, worrying about the woman whose house he was in. "Stuck?" Make her smile, make her laugh, bring her back to the light. "You should get the floor cleaned if it's sticky." He looked down at her, a mirthful smile on his lips, a twinkle in his eye. He wanted to see her smile, even if it was barely there. It was better than… Whatever this was. She looked up at him, her eyes cautious, guarded, wary. But then she caught the smile. The twinkle in his eyes. Slowly, but surely, the rose bloomed again and she smiled back at him as they left. She turned to lock the door and then they were headed back to the limo. Already she was walking taller, and it was because of Kaine Hayden. He could feel the release of tension during the walk back to the limo as if a weight were lifted off her shoulders. He didn't know how she saw her house, how she struggled within herself as she was within it. Take her somewhere safe, somewhere bright, somewhere she can grow and flourish and bloom. Somewhere he could look after her. He helped her into the limo where Giles stood waiting, slipping the bag into the boot, then inside, with her. He wanted to ask her something, but it took him a few moments. "Summer. I saw…" He'd seen a few things, which one to choose? "Your leg. The scar." He held out his hand, down low, as if to invite her to place her leg there. "May I?" He could have demanded she show him and she would have. But he asked. He was easing her into being his. No secrets. She turned slightly so she could place her leg in his hand. Running down the back of her calf was a surgery scar. Thin, precise. But further up, there was another. Not so neat. Was that another slash on her other leg, above the back of the knee? Summer remembered the attack well. She'd been struck on the back of her head, fell to the floor. Whoever had done it must have been angry, frustrated. "He was unable to turn me over. I was out cold. He'd just had heart surgery and was weak, and he was angry." That explained the senselessness of the wound placement. "The blade broke off in my calf. I came to and fought. It wound up embedding the blade in my muscle and I had to have surgery to remove it. He'd severed the tendon on the back of my knee, they said there was no way I should have been able to get away. There were doubts I'd walk properly again, especially when he broke my leg in the struggle." A week later Summer had been at the ribbon cutting. With only a cast on her leg. Smiling. She still worked in the office the attack took place in. He connected the dots. She only said 'he' as if Kaine would know. Flannery had been violent that morning face to face, who knew what the man would do in an attack from behind? His heart surgery was common knowledge, which was another dot. "Flannery." No question. A statement. His conclusion. His fingers had been tracing the scars along her calf, inside her skirt and along the underside of her knee, making her twitch, and as far up her thigh as he could without pushing too far. When he was done, he tugged her skirt back into place and smoothed it down, hiding his investigation of her body. He'd noticed the tattoos. "You're a very lucky woman. And… That makes me a lucky man. You wouldn't have been able to greet me the way you did." His smile was now growing, despite the anger that was welling up for the detestable human he'd seen that morning. "Do you know why?" She remained calm as he touched her, but she couldn't deny the rush when he trailed further up. How could he touch her like that when she couldn't even bear to look at herself? And..ohhh….it felt good. She could have fallen asleep like that, with Kaine just touching her. She shifted back, but this time, she draped her legs over his lap and nestled into him. "He wanted the firm and he'd lost." She said simply. Flannery had decided if he couldn't have the firm, he'd have the woman. Hostile takeover indeed. Summer hadn't been kidding. No wonder her bedroom was so suffocating if all the unpleasant things were locked there where she didn't have to face it. "How do you do it?" She asked him. "I'm a wilting rose for two months every year. How can you want me, with what you've seen? You deserve something wonderful and good…not…me." She said softly, holding him tight. "The man is a monster." His arm went around her back, his hand at her hip, curled around as if to hold her in place, but it wasn't a tight hold. It was just settled there, resting, keeping her there, but only if she chose not to leave. His hand rested in her thigh, over the skirt she was wearing, curled over to conform to the curve there. "Hm? How do I do what?" For a moment he didn't understand. No emotion. No feeling. 12 months of the year. Until her. "Oh. When my father died, I was dragged into his world. I spent six months as a nervous wreck, being molded, twisted, turned, into what I am now. Well, until you claimed my lap. I'd had my eyes on you, but you opened them to a world of opportunity beyond anything I ever imagined. I can feel. But… It's still scary." A moment of panic and his smile disappeared, his eyes glazed over. Hide the emotion. He shook his head, blinked a couple of times, then that smile, that twinkle, they were back, and he was gazing down at her. "I choose you. You deserve someone who will make you grow, who will protect you, will help you through the darkness into the light. The same as I need." Panic. She saw. She knew that. She shifted and pulled him close. "Kaine. It's just me. Just us. I…let you see my house. My bedroom. Please don't hide from me, and I won't hide from you. It's just us. I won't run. I promise. Okay? Scared together, remember?" Her fingers reached up, touched his cheek, her eyes meeting his. Kiss me. Kiss me and feel no fear. His face turned when she touched his cheek, gazing into her eyes. His heart reached out, panicked, scared, trying to understand what to do, trying to feel what she wanted from him. He leaned down, tilting his head, his lips placed on hers and he kissed her. It was his first since taking over his father's company, and he floundered, awkward, stilted, tense. It took him a few moments to relax into the feeling as it right. Yes, she was changing him. She kissed him slow, gentle. Not rushing. She'd not kissed anyone since…it'd been a while. She kept her fingers on his cheek, reassuring as she let herself experience the feeling of kissing someone you cared deeply about for the very first time. And while she was patient, she did not lead. That was his role when he found his footing. He opened his mouth slightly, his tongue hovered at the edge of his lips, brushing against hers, then back again. This felt right, but he didn't know. It was a struggle. Quickly into his mouth, then out, then parting from the kiss. His eyes closed for a moment. "Sorry, I'm… First time, since… Father…" Even his words were a struggle. His eyes opened once more, and he stared into hers. "The thought of binding a woman, beating her, choking her, being the cause of her pain when she wants it… None of that is a problem. This?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I want to be the man you…" He struggled to find the word. On the tip of his tongue. It was there if only he could metaphorically grip it and force it out. "Love." Scary. "Scared. Together. I can't stop trying to hide my emotions without your help. It's been my whole existence." Summer wasn't able to stop the little tiny pleasured whimper he drew from her. "Don't be sorry." She said breathlessly as she met his eyes. She bit back a funny reply when he mentioned choking. Humour.\\ Don't.\\ Do it.\\ Do it.\\ Break the tension. "Well, I want to be the woman you love. Would it make it easier for you if you choked me and told me you loved me?" She asked with a little smile. **//Please laugh…please let the laugh out. I love you.// ** Next: [[.nsfw:penthouse|Penthouse]]